The Unknown Daddy Roles
Since I covered Mommy Roles yesterday, it's only fair that I give equal time to Daddy Roles!
1. Waste Management. Emptying the diaper pail is solely the role of the Daddy. Period.
2. Rough-Houser. (AKA Wrestler, Climbing Structure, Punching Bag.) Even if a Daddy has never participated in full-contact sports before in his life, as soon as he has a son, this changes. Caution: Always remind child that this is purely a Daddy Role, and that Mommy is only Rough-Houser-Lite.
3. Zombie. The ability for a Daddy to sleep through any sound the child makes during the night.
4. Reptile House Docent. Whenever possible, a Daddy has the responsibility for touring the child through the reptile house at the zoo. Consequence of not fulfilling this role is child learning, "the only good snake is a dead snake".
5. Assembler. A Daddy should have multi-headed screwdriver and other assorted tools available at every birthday and holiday. Hint: This role is most easily accomplished with the reading of the instruction manual. Mommy is available to offer assistance when needed.
6. Keeper of the Battery Inventory. Related to role #5, Assembler. A Daddy should always have on hand a mega-pack of all batteries needed both now and in the future. Including, but not limited to, AAA, AA, A, B, C, DD, and 9v. Hint: Invest in a itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny phillips-head screwdriver for opening up battery compartments on children's items.
7. Panic Instigater. The ability of a Daddy to incite immediate panic in to the Mommy. Result is Mommy using phrases such as, "He'll shoot his eye out", "He'll break something", "He's not old enough for that", or the standby, "He'll get hurt". Related to role #2, Rough-Houser.
So what are your favorite unknown Daddy Roles?
1. Waste Management. Emptying the diaper pail is solely the role of the Daddy. Period.
2. Rough-Houser. (AKA Wrestler, Climbing Structure, Punching Bag.) Even if a Daddy has never participated in full-contact sports before in his life, as soon as he has a son, this changes. Caution: Always remind child that this is purely a Daddy Role, and that Mommy is only Rough-Houser-Lite.
3. Zombie. The ability for a Daddy to sleep through any sound the child makes during the night.
4. Reptile House Docent. Whenever possible, a Daddy has the responsibility for touring the child through the reptile house at the zoo. Consequence of not fulfilling this role is child learning, "the only good snake is a dead snake".
5. Assembler. A Daddy should have multi-headed screwdriver and other assorted tools available at every birthday and holiday. Hint: This role is most easily accomplished with the reading of the instruction manual. Mommy is available to offer assistance when needed.
6. Keeper of the Battery Inventory. Related to role #5, Assembler. A Daddy should always have on hand a mega-pack of all batteries needed both now and in the future. Including, but not limited to, AAA, AA, A, B, C, DD, and 9v. Hint: Invest in a itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny phillips-head screwdriver for opening up battery compartments on children's items.
7. Panic Instigater. The ability of a Daddy to incite immediate panic in to the Mommy. Result is Mommy using phrases such as, "He'll shoot his eye out", "He'll break something", "He's not old enough for that", or the standby, "He'll get hurt". Related to role #2, Rough-Houser.
So what are your favorite unknown Daddy Roles?
posted by Susan | 12:32 PM
4 Comments:
That is sooo funny. I am making my husband read this when he comes home. That is him perfectly!
Lisa
For me it's Mommy Calmer Downer. Dad's job is to reassure Mom that the cough is not TB, and the sneeze not pneumonia.
Lisa
AND TO CALM MOMMY DOWN WHEN THE CHILD HAS COLORED ON THE WHITE CARPET, TIME OUT REALLY IS ENOUGH, YOU DONT HAVE TO BAN THE CHILD FROM EVER COLORING AGAIN
Sheesh! What about caring, supportive, solid as a rock provider?!
Oh that's right, there a given, but unfortunately all your roles are actually all me!!! LOL
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