When Bad Things Happen To Good People
I debated whether to post this or not, but I decided it was a good life-lesson. I suppose I can always delete it later if I change my mind.
Have you ever wondered why bad things happen to good people, and yet the bad people seem to get off so easily? I know I have had several times in my life where I have really struggled with this question. Frankly, it is a question I have always struggled with! I've read Harold Kushner's book, "When Bad Things Happen To Good People" several times, and I'm sad to admit that I never really got it.
I found out some information yesterday that has really gotten me thinking about these questions again. I think I finally get it.
When I was in college, I was in an abusive relationship. I won't go in to the details, but it was bad. I've always wondered why I got stuck carrying around the scars of abuse for the rest of my life, while this guy got off scott-free. But as it turns out, perhaps I was wrong.
Yesterday I found out a few things. In the last 5 years, he has lost both of his parents. As if that's not bad enough, his older sister, her husband, and their son were killed last year in a house fire. I know from an email he sent me many years ago that he had a son (but not a wife). Apparently he still lives in the same house he grew up in; as a 39 year old man, he was still living with his parents.
Later in my life, I ran in to another real winner of the male-type. A definite cuckoo bird! He made mine and my mother's life hell for a while. And again, he seemed to get off scott-free. But like before, perhaps I was wrong. A year or so ago, I found out that the badly decomposed bodies of he and his mother were found in their San Diego apartment. (Yep, another one who at age 40+ was still living with mama.) I don't know exactly what killed them, but from what I knew of them, it was probably either a prescription drug overdose, or suicide.
So let's get back to the initial question. Why do bad things happen to good people, and yet the bad people seem to get off so easily?
I am alive. I have never gotten mixed up in drug abuse of any kind (prescription or illegal narcotics), nor have I ever had any issues with alcohol (in fact, I do not drink). I am lucky to still have all my family. I made sure that I did not have children until I was in a solid marital relationship. I've owned my own homes since I was 23 years old. I've got a Masters Degree, and had a very successful career in computers.
Yes, bad things happened to me. But these guys, who I think would qualify as "bad people" (or at least "people who did bad things") definitely did not get off easily. When one looks at how their lives have turned out compared to how mine has turned out, it seems the initial question was wrong. Good things do happen to good people. And people who do bad things... well, I don't know if it's karma, "getting what's coming to them", fate, God's wrath, or what.
It took a long time for me to see this. I guess I just needed to keep on plugging along in my life, trying to better myself. Just because some bad things happened to a good person certainly didn't mean good things couldn't happen to me too! They have!
These guys did not get off scott-free. And I am not walking around with nearly the amount of scars that I may have thought. I guess that makes me a survivor. And them? Not people to hate or be angry at. Perhaps just people to pity.
Have you ever wondered why bad things happen to good people, and yet the bad people seem to get off so easily? I know I have had several times in my life where I have really struggled with this question. Frankly, it is a question I have always struggled with! I've read Harold Kushner's book, "When Bad Things Happen To Good People" several times, and I'm sad to admit that I never really got it.
I found out some information yesterday that has really gotten me thinking about these questions again. I think I finally get it.
When I was in college, I was in an abusive relationship. I won't go in to the details, but it was bad. I've always wondered why I got stuck carrying around the scars of abuse for the rest of my life, while this guy got off scott-free. But as it turns out, perhaps I was wrong.
Yesterday I found out a few things. In the last 5 years, he has lost both of his parents. As if that's not bad enough, his older sister, her husband, and their son were killed last year in a house fire. I know from an email he sent me many years ago that he had a son (but not a wife). Apparently he still lives in the same house he grew up in; as a 39 year old man, he was still living with his parents.
Later in my life, I ran in to another real winner of the male-type. A definite cuckoo bird! He made mine and my mother's life hell for a while. And again, he seemed to get off scott-free. But like before, perhaps I was wrong. A year or so ago, I found out that the badly decomposed bodies of he and his mother were found in their San Diego apartment. (Yep, another one who at age 40+ was still living with mama.) I don't know exactly what killed them, but from what I knew of them, it was probably either a prescription drug overdose, or suicide.
So let's get back to the initial question. Why do bad things happen to good people, and yet the bad people seem to get off so easily?
I am alive. I have never gotten mixed up in drug abuse of any kind (prescription or illegal narcotics), nor have I ever had any issues with alcohol (in fact, I do not drink). I am lucky to still have all my family. I made sure that I did not have children until I was in a solid marital relationship. I've owned my own homes since I was 23 years old. I've got a Masters Degree, and had a very successful career in computers.
Yes, bad things happened to me. But these guys, who I think would qualify as "bad people" (or at least "people who did bad things") definitely did not get off easily. When one looks at how their lives have turned out compared to how mine has turned out, it seems the initial question was wrong. Good things do happen to good people. And people who do bad things... well, I don't know if it's karma, "getting what's coming to them", fate, God's wrath, or what.
It took a long time for me to see this. I guess I just needed to keep on plugging along in my life, trying to better myself. Just because some bad things happened to a good person certainly didn't mean good things couldn't happen to me too! They have!
These guys did not get off scott-free. And I am not walking around with nearly the amount of scars that I may have thought. I guess that makes me a survivor. And them? Not people to hate or be angry at. Perhaps just people to pity.
posted by Susan | 8:42 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home