Political Correctness
Okay, let me just say I think all this political correctness has gone too far. It seems that everyone is so insecure in their own decisions or circumstances that they take everything as a personal affront.
Several years ago, I was posting on an internet message board, and commented that one of the things I am most proud of in my life is earning my Masters Degree. Someone complained to the board leader about me. Why? Because they and their boyfriend had not been to college, and my stating that I was proud of earning my Masters Degree meant that I was putting down all those who had not been to college.
Dear, it's not about you.
I am proud of my education. I am proud that my mother earned her Bachelors Degree in chemistry at a time when it was rare for women to even go to college. (And those who did stuck to the liberal arts.) I am proud of my father who earned his Masters Degree in physics. I am also proud that although he started working on his PhD, he opted to forgo completion because he wanted to spend more time with his family.
I am also proud of my grandparents, 3 out of 4 of whom never completed high school. They all were good people (perhaps even better than most, in my opinion), and provided very well for their children. They were successful and happy.
Just because I am proud of myself does not mean that I am looking down on anyone else. I am happy for anyone, no matter their level of education or professional achievement, who works hard, is happy, and loves their family.
One of the biggest places I encounter this is in the whole stupid "mommy wars" thing. Again, if I make a comment about how I believe it is best for me to stay home with my children, others take that as an attack on their choosing to go back to work.
We made a choice.
We made a choice that we wanted to spend as much time as we could with our children while they are young. This includes Greg. Sure, he could get some fancy-schmancy job where he is gone almost all the time and makes lots more money, but he wants to be around his boys. And we don't need the money. Does this mean that I am saying that those who work outside the home or who work long hours are bad parents? No. All it means is that Greg and I want to be home with our children while they are young. I have very good friends (and family!) who work outside the home and work very long hours who are wonderful parents with wonderful kids.
We made a choice that we want to be the primary ones teach our children values. This means we will carefully select where they will be each day. We put a lot of thought in to where we would live, where we go to church, and where we send them to school. And yes, it also influences our decision for me to stay home. If a child is with someone else 40+ hours a week, hopefully there will be some values instilled during that time. At this young age, we want those to come from us. Does this mean that we are saying that those who put their children in daycare are not teaching their children values? No. All it means is that Greg and I have chosen how we want to handle it for our children. Again, I have very good friends (and family) who have put their children in daycare, and I believe they are wonderful parents with wonderful kids.
And now I have been jumped on again because in talking about why I only send Michael to preschool for 2 mornings a week, I used the phrase, "I did not want to be passing him off to someone else any more at this young age." Apparently that was another direct attack on those who put their children in preschool more than I do. Good gracious! Listen folks, when Greg drops Michael off at preschool on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, he passes him off to the teachers. When I pick him up after school, the teachers pass him off to me. When Greg gets home from work, sometimes I pass the boys off to him. It is not a term of criticism. It's just a term!
Do people even know where this term comes from? Passing something off is from sports. Every watched a game of football. The quarterback, in most plays, either "passes off" the football or "hands off" the football. Passing off is about teamwork. If the quarterback didn't pass off the ball, the game wouldn't be the same. The defense would always know who to go after. And that poor quarterback would be totally beaten down by the end of the game. But when the quarterback does pass off, does it mean that he's doing any less in his part of the team? No! He may not be holding the ball, but he is off doing other things. Blocking, being a decoy, thinking about what the next play should be...
So we all "pass off" at times. We pass off when we put our children in preschool. We pass off when we use a babysitter. We pass off when we put in a video to entertain them. We pass off when we let the dads watch them so we can have a moms night out. We pass off when we order take-out instead of making dinner at home.
Some people may pass off more than others. Or for different things. So what? Right now I don't feel the desire to pass Michael off to preschool any more than 2 mornings a week.
Each team has to determine which plays work best for them. Some teams are passing teams. Some are running teams. Some are a combination. All have won the Super Bowl. None is right and none is wrong.
So come on now people. Be secure enough in your own decisions not to take everyone else's decisions as a direct affront on you. It's not about you. It is only about what we think is best for our children in our situation. It might change some day. It might not. But right now we are just doing what we think is best.
Several years ago, I was posting on an internet message board, and commented that one of the things I am most proud of in my life is earning my Masters Degree. Someone complained to the board leader about me. Why? Because they and their boyfriend had not been to college, and my stating that I was proud of earning my Masters Degree meant that I was putting down all those who had not been to college.
Dear, it's not about you.
I am proud of my education. I am proud that my mother earned her Bachelors Degree in chemistry at a time when it was rare for women to even go to college. (And those who did stuck to the liberal arts.) I am proud of my father who earned his Masters Degree in physics. I am also proud that although he started working on his PhD, he opted to forgo completion because he wanted to spend more time with his family.
I am also proud of my grandparents, 3 out of 4 of whom never completed high school. They all were good people (perhaps even better than most, in my opinion), and provided very well for their children. They were successful and happy.
Just because I am proud of myself does not mean that I am looking down on anyone else. I am happy for anyone, no matter their level of education or professional achievement, who works hard, is happy, and loves their family.
One of the biggest places I encounter this is in the whole stupid "mommy wars" thing. Again, if I make a comment about how I believe it is best for me to stay home with my children, others take that as an attack on their choosing to go back to work.
We made a choice.
We made a choice that we wanted to spend as much time as we could with our children while they are young. This includes Greg. Sure, he could get some fancy-schmancy job where he is gone almost all the time and makes lots more money, but he wants to be around his boys. And we don't need the money. Does this mean that I am saying that those who work outside the home or who work long hours are bad parents? No. All it means is that Greg and I want to be home with our children while they are young. I have very good friends (and family!) who work outside the home and work very long hours who are wonderful parents with wonderful kids.
We made a choice that we want to be the primary ones teach our children values. This means we will carefully select where they will be each day. We put a lot of thought in to where we would live, where we go to church, and where we send them to school. And yes, it also influences our decision for me to stay home. If a child is with someone else 40+ hours a week, hopefully there will be some values instilled during that time. At this young age, we want those to come from us. Does this mean that we are saying that those who put their children in daycare are not teaching their children values? No. All it means is that Greg and I have chosen how we want to handle it for our children. Again, I have very good friends (and family) who have put their children in daycare, and I believe they are wonderful parents with wonderful kids.
And now I have been jumped on again because in talking about why I only send Michael to preschool for 2 mornings a week, I used the phrase, "I did not want to be passing him off to someone else any more at this young age." Apparently that was another direct attack on those who put their children in preschool more than I do. Good gracious! Listen folks, when Greg drops Michael off at preschool on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, he passes him off to the teachers. When I pick him up after school, the teachers pass him off to me. When Greg gets home from work, sometimes I pass the boys off to him. It is not a term of criticism. It's just a term!
Do people even know where this term comes from? Passing something off is from sports. Every watched a game of football. The quarterback, in most plays, either "passes off" the football or "hands off" the football. Passing off is about teamwork. If the quarterback didn't pass off the ball, the game wouldn't be the same. The defense would always know who to go after. And that poor quarterback would be totally beaten down by the end of the game. But when the quarterback does pass off, does it mean that he's doing any less in his part of the team? No! He may not be holding the ball, but he is off doing other things. Blocking, being a decoy, thinking about what the next play should be...
So we all "pass off" at times. We pass off when we put our children in preschool. We pass off when we use a babysitter. We pass off when we put in a video to entertain them. We pass off when we let the dads watch them so we can have a moms night out. We pass off when we order take-out instead of making dinner at home.
Some people may pass off more than others. Or for different things. So what? Right now I don't feel the desire to pass Michael off to preschool any more than 2 mornings a week.
Each team has to determine which plays work best for them. Some teams are passing teams. Some are running teams. Some are a combination. All have won the Super Bowl. None is right and none is wrong.
So come on now people. Be secure enough in your own decisions not to take everyone else's decisions as a direct affront on you. It's not about you. It is only about what we think is best for our children in our situation. It might change some day. It might not. But right now we are just doing what we think is best.
posted by Susan | 7:41 AM
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